I woke up this morning with a slight sense of identity crisis. I have been living in the UK for so long, how much of my Frenchness have I lost?
Here's my list of changes.
I write names as 'Name Surname' rather than 'SURNAME Name'.
I write numbers with a coma to separate thousands and millions and a point to mark decimals, 1,256.35 rather than 1.256,35.
I put the currency sign before the number rather than after: £50 rather than 50 £.
With the rare cheques I write nowadays I put the beneficiary's name first, then the amount, rather than the other way round.
I drive on the left-hand side of the road, sit on the right-hand seat and handle the gear stick with my left hand.
I say "hello" much more often than I say "salut", even to French people.
When I come up to a roundabout in my car and I see a car coming up from another road, I slow down to let them go rather than speed up to get through before they do.
When I see a pedestrian waiting to cross the road, I slow down and gesture courteously to them to cross the road safely while I wait, rather than speed up to discourage them from daring to walk up to the road in front of my car.
When I parallel park my car, I am very careful not to touch the cars in front of or behind me, rather than push them to squeeze my car into a space that was originally just slightly too small for my car.
When I feel down after bad news or a long day at work, I make myself a cup of tea (Yorkshire tea, with milk), truly believing that this will make things better.
When I walk around French department stores or friends' and family's houses in France in the winter, I strip down to a Tee-Shirt or vest top, wondering how anyone can live in such an overheated environment.
I love a good roast and 3 veg on a Sunday.
When I've been away from home for too long, one of the first things I fancy in order to feel at home again is a good Indian curry.
I talk about the weather, a lot.
I cringe when I see too much nudity on TV or poster ads.
I speak in French with a high variation in pitches. And when I was told this for the first time, what I wanted to say was "reeeeeeaaaaallyyy?"(very high tone on first syllable, low tone on last).
I don't think Marmite is weird and disgusting, in fact I like and buy the stuff.
95% of the bread I eat is sliced bread, and 95% of the cheese I eat is cheddar.
I no longer think that it's weird that the Queen and the Royals are so prominent in this modern country when in my mind, royals used to be the people who had been decapitated 2 centuries ago.
In fact, I have a lot of respect for the Queen and think that British politics would be worse off without her.
I watch Harry and Paul and think it's hilarious.
I no longer think that weighing more than 50kg for my 1.63m height is being fat.
I pay an arm and a leg to use public transport and don't moan and rant about it.
I don't mind when people serve cheese and dessert at the same time and I don't even cringe anymore when people cut the nose off the cheese rather than cut it in the length to allow everyone to have a bit of the best bit in the middle.
I drink hot chocolate in the evening before bed rather than in the morning for breakfast.
I eat pretty much only one brand of yoghurt because there isn't a whole huge aisle at the supermarket dedicated to yoghurts which makes my eyes sparkle with curiosity and excitement to try the new appetising products.
I eat parsnips but not artichokes, and radishes are round, not oblong.
For me most of the lettuce comes in a packet of leaves rather than whole.
Crisps have sneaked their way into a very high proportion of my meals.
I know what Rosemary and Thyme, Allo Allo and Dad's Army are.
I know the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle and I'm a Little Teapot.
I know who Danni Minogue, Cheryl Cole and Myleen Klass are, but don't talk to me about Koh Lanta.
Well. I had better stuff myself with escargots and foie gras and pâtisseries and start arguments while queuing at the supermarket next time I'm in France, for I can no longer afford to lose anymore Frenchness lest I truly and completely become a Rosbif!
